Perfect Timing

Sometimes we don't realize that Gods doing the work for us and we want to jump the gun and do it ourselves. God's the God of timing. It's so hard not to force the outcome and just to wait.

Joseph didn't pursue his opportunities God blessed him with opportunities. He just had the right heart through all his situations even though he was wronged so many times in his life. If you don't know the story of Joseph in the Bible...I'd encourage you to read it. It's in Genesis. Joseph was betrayed by his own family and sold into slavery.

How many of us have felt betrayed by our families? Now this doesn't have to your physical biological family or it could be. I think we all experience betrayal at one point in time or another, I just happened to have experienced multiple times in my life - sadly. But what it has done is made me a stronger person. I would never wish betrayal, hurt or any maliciousness or painful experience on anyone, but I will say that these heartache experiences that bring us to our knees are the moments that grow us the most. I've had so much pain in my life and God's growing me by leaps and bounds because I'm finally submitting it all to Him. It's so hard to do but so freeing.

Heaps of Burdens of pains are being lifted off my soul and I have only my Lord and Savior to thank for dying on the cross for me so I wouldn't have to carry all the evil that has been done to me. "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

I don't think believers fully understand the above verse. Christ died so we wouldn't have to suffer. God sent His only begotten Son so we could be free from suffering and so we can be healed completely through the Blood of the Spotless Lamb - who is Jesus. We are so privileged to know a Savior who loved us enough that He stood in the gap of our sinful souls to bridge the chasm that sin had created between us and our Holy Father. Thank you God, Jesus and Holy Spirit for having an ultimate plan to win us back to Your Heart. I am forever indebted for this all consuming love that God has for me, for us, and for every human no matter where they are at in life. God does NOT discriminate against those who are looked down upon by society's and prejudices. He loves all His creations no mater what shape, size, or where their heart lays. He loves everyone with an unbiased heart and I hope He is teaching you how to do the same.

God doesn't enact His plan for our lives quickly. He takes His time. We have so much to learn as we grow as spiritual human beings and God wants to help us to get it right and get it good. He even teaches us through mistakes and failures. He's going to use everything - all the details - just like a potter uses clay and broken pieces to form a new work of art. God will use all our bruises and battle scars for His glory. He wants us to find our identity in Him and nothing else - not things and not people. Our only source should be from the One Who made us - God. So dear reader, stop rushing everything in your life. Stop pushing the fast forward button. Relax. Rest. Wait upon the Lord and He will renew your strength. Wait and you will mount up with wings like an eagle. Wait and you will run and not be weary; you will walk and not faint. Lord teach us to WAIT.

Here's a song thats about waiting on the Lord - I hope you check it out!

http://www.godvine.com/Wait-on-the-Lord-Original-Song-by-Coffey-Anderson-311.html

A life worth living

It seems its yet another year that I am attempting to write on this blog. You would think since I want to be a writer so bad that I might be able to do this blog thing. But alas...I think this blog has been in existence since 2008 & I only have a handful of writings. Maybe I just don't want everyone in my crazy but beautiful planted garden that I tend to that is my mind. I like to keep some things to myself as Florence & the machine would say;) I feel like every new year I'm excited & can't wait to see what the new year holds. Then the year goes by and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, but random ideas that seem to go nowhere. I then get down on myself because I want so much more out of life. I want to live a live worthy of the calling I have received, but I tend to confuse this calling with the life I want to live. Or is it all one and the same? I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of indecisiveness that chokes the beauty that wants to flow out of my soul. I say all this, but i also realize I've learned so much from my past even this last year. I feel like Gods trying to teach me so much, but all I want to do is RUN (faster than a bullet...) b/c its uncomfortable & I want to do what seems right to MY flesh & MY emotions. But I know it's just fear that drives me. Fear I'll never amount to anything. Fear that I'll fail. Fear that I am failing. Fear that my dreams are too big for this small brown woman. Fear that I'll never become who God truly created me to be.

But He created me to be fearfully & wonderfully made. Fear is from the enemy. My past doesn't bind me it makes me who I am and I learn the most from it. I'm learning to embrace everything I've done b/c its no surprise to God & He orders the footsteps of the righteous. As long as my heart seeks His & even when I'm not seeking Him - He will continue to pursue me and show me His love & show me that He wants to use every part of my life - mistakes, wrong turns, past, present, and even the evil in my heart. I can't run away from being a sinner but I can run to Him, repent and seek guidance and comfort. The truth is we weren't meant to be spotless & perfect. We can't, only Christ can. He wants our heart not fir us to be puppets. He wants us to chase after the dreams we think unobtainable b/c He put those dreams there deep within the recess of our inner being b/c its who He made us to be. The hard part is the process & having patience through. Its hard b/c I want to fast-forward & say, "Look ma, I did it." Instant gratification. But that only seems to come with a price. It took Jesus 30 some years to do His calling, but the sad part is we never get to read what happened before His ministry started. He left it a mystery and we can learn so much from that.

Gods got me right where He knew I would be. He's cooking up something good & I'm so blessed & honored to be a part of it.

This year I'm learning how to finally honor my husband by letting him be the covering no matter how much I want to fight to make my own dang decision (sooooooo hard for this control freak to do, btw...); trying to pay more attention to my body & how it reacts so I can take care of this Holy Temple by eating right, exercising, & not over eating; learning how to love all of me & all my past & current mistakes; pursuing my creative side more; write more consistently; be content with where I am in life; not wanting more b/c God is my provider not me; build wonderful relationships with family & friends; love fiercely; confess faster; let God in finally; allow myself to heal fully from brokenness; and most importantly reflect the glory of God - which coincidently is who He made me to be - free in His love & free to choose a life worth living.