Film and Writing: my new & final chosen path

This picture is just a random picture that I picked from my photos on my laptop. I took it after we landed in Germany and while we were riding the tram at the airport. It really has nothing to do with this post. Oh well.

Well, it's been a while since I last posted something. I realize this blog hasn't been a blog really. Aside from one of my poems. I posted English assignments that I had to do in class and just dubbed it blogging. It just shows how lazy I was even then. I've realized that I have a very lazy spirit with a lot of things in life. Eating right, exercising, cleaning (I'm not a slob but I tend to let things build b4 I clean it up--I blame my busy life), reading my bible, reading anything, and most importantly (since I'm supposed to be one) being a writer. I've always been told that if I want to do anything, I have to be in practice. I can't even begin to tell you how many people have told me this about the various different careers that I'm trying to pursue--namely writing and of course my other passion film. I've never been one of those people who sleep, eat, wake, dream, live filming or writing for that matter. I'm one lazy son of a gun. Daughter of a gun. Nope, that doesn't work, but it does make for an interesting idea for a story--sounds like a western where the main character is a girl getting revenge for some unknown reason.

I used to write when I was in middle school--that's actually where I discovered that I was a writer. I had a couple writing assignments where I created some really amazing stories. Where there stories are, I couldn't even tell you. Probably lost forever. In high school I journaled a lot and I even found a friend who would journal back and forth with me. This continued on and off again until my early twenties and then it just stopped. It's like ceasing to be who you are--you lose your passion and then you lose yourself.

And as for filming...well I didn't pop out of my moms belly looking at everyone through cinematic eyes. I didn't even do it when I was a child, adolescent, or early teenager. I did however have a dream to make movies. I was fascinated by movies and wanted to be apart of it somehow. But when I was little, I changed what I wanted to be according to the person I looked up to at the moment. Funny thing is, I did that even as an adult. I would change career ideas with every person I dated. Interesting how some things never change. But the one thing I can say about film is that it does come naturally. It's one of those things that I don't have to force myself to understand. Ideas flow like a fresh cut wound. I have an eye for film and I have no idea why except that I'm gifted by God. The same goes for writing.

Now how to combine the two passions--that's easy--screenwriting. An area that I have grown to love and appreciate that it's something human beings created for people like me. I've written two treatments, which is simply a 2-4 page summary of what a film is about and mostly without dialogue. That's actually the main difference from a book verses a novel. A novel is more detail and a screenplay is more dialogue.

So where I am I now? I haven't touched those two treatments since I finished them even though I know the characters and plot really well. Yes, Dr. Watson, you've hit it right on the noggin, I'm being lazy again. I wish I had some type of weapon to zap the laziness out of me, maybe have it even sting a little so I do it less. That would be an interesting gadget that I would definitely buy. Also another cool idea for some storyline--sounds like a futuristic short where people need help to not be lazy. Instead of finishing those works, I decided to move onto coming up with ideas for this series of books. I even started writing the first chapter--wow! But to no avail, I keep getting frustrated with the characters and plot and I end up not writing. When I was younger, I never wrote my stories in order. I would write what was most vivid in my mind and then I would fill in the in between parts later. I REALLY need to just do that. Not every writer operates the same and I think I'm one of those scatter brain writers--kind of like my life--everything kind of a mess, but I somehow tie it all together. So until I start doing that with these books, I think I just need to stop and do something else. I know, I know. There I go again starting something new without finishing, but I'm not starting anything new. I'm just going to go back to my 2 treatments and write them into screenplays. Besides, it will help me to really help me sharpen my writing skills for the books. Now if I happen to come up with some idea or part from the books, of course I'll go back and write that part and then continue finishing my screenplays.

I'm really excited about both of my screenplays which I have to give thanks to God for creating me with a creative mind, my best friend Vinnie (he's like a big bother to me) for helping me to make them better, and my husband for being so patient through all my chaotic-ness of changing my career field so many times. And after all has been said and done--I've just gone back to what I've always should have gone for--writing. Now it doesn't mean I completely closed of to being apart of making a film. For some reason I still see that in the distant future or rather I think God does. Because honestly I gave up on film as soon as I realized I could write screenplays instead. I kept thinking, I'm too old, I'm married and my husband DOES NOT want to live in LA or NY, what would happen if Jared and I suddenly had kids--would I put them aside and only concentrate on my career? I all but ruled out the idea. But then I started getting those signs again, you know, those God signs. It's funny how I demand that God tell me what to do b/c I confuse myself WAY too much and then I think He doesn't care and He's just letting me disappear into a nobody. And then He starts sending me signs. Through people, sermons, situations, and dreams (this most often than not)--and it helps to remind me that somehow and in some bizarre way, I'm actually on tract. So here it goes.